Getting your degree is no walk in the park. In fact, sometimes it feels downright impossible. But hey, sometimes the only thing you can do when you feel like your drowning in homework is to laugh about it (that is, so you don’t start to cry). That said, here are some memes to either keep your spirits up or crush them even further when you realize that they are all completely true.
For some inexplicable reason, group projects are a big thing in college. Basically, no matter how much effort you put into your assignment, 50% of your final grade will depend solely on the abilities of the other person in your group. It’s like putting your life into someone else’s hands, and you don’t know how drunk those hands were the night before the project is due.
Get That Word Count
In order to stop lazy people from writing only a few words, college professors often use word counts when assigning papers. Well professors, two can play at that game. We will just make sure to write long, articulate, heavily-worded, researched, uhh…educated, dictionary-proven papers.
Emailing Your Professor
There is something foreboding about having to send an email to your professor, whatever the reason may be. You nervously read over your typed out email, at least three times, making sure the punctuation is all correct so you don’t look like a complete idiot to them. And what they send back proves that they spent less than half a second reading what you wrote anyway.
Online Quiz Nightmares
Online quizzes are the worst use of technology ever invented, because they don’t account for human error. You accidentally press the wrong button? Too late, can’t erase that. But what if you answer 100% of them correctly, and it still fails you because you weren’t able to be better than perfect??
We get it. It’s hard to pay attention to a professor talking for hours about a subject you’ve never heard of (and probably won’t use ever again in your life) and then remember it all. But come on, at least try to take some notes.
How many times have you heard from your professor that you can’t write your essay overnight and that you should start well in advance to get it done on time? Not only is this proven to be untrue (ask graduate students who haven’t slept in months), but how can you explain every single essay test ever given?
Who Are You?
Although you will have smaller classes, most of the time the professor giving your lecture won’t have the slightest clue who you are. They are talking to lectures of sometimes hundreds of students multiple times a day. It’s like a sea of faces to them. You’re not special.
Not only are you not an individual during lecture, but you also have to make sure you can keep up with the rest of the students there. Otherwise, you will for sure not be finished writing up the notes from the PowerPoint slide before it moves on. Oh, and you can’t really raise your hand to ask for more time, since you would be holding up the rest of the entire lecture hall.
Why do professors love telling you that their essay is so difficult and/or epic that it can’t possibly be done the night before? Will it suck? Yes. Will you have to stay up all night fueling yourself on coffee and red bull? Yes. Will you feel like absolute crap the next day? Totally. But can it be done? Watch me.
Stating the Obvious
You don’t want that paper worth 20% of your grade to look bare. You’ve got to add in some meat wherever you can. If that means stating that the brother of a lion is, in fact, also a lion, you go ahead and do it.
It’s an unforgiving world out there. In college you might find yourself at your wit’s end, having lived off of nothing but red bull and ramen for months, sleeping only an hour a night. But hey, you managed to get up this morning and get to class. Go you!
Entry Level Jobs
So you go to college to get a degree so that you can get a good job. But the job requires you to have experience from a good job (which you needed a degree to get) in order to accept you. But in order to get the experience you need for the job to accept you, you need to work in the job. Get it?
Take All The Credit
There’s nothing worse than having other students put their names on a group project that you did all of the work for. Next time, how about you make like Marc Jacobs and write your name all over that thing. Your group will hate you, but at least your professor will know who did everything.
Just Study Already!
Getting motivated is nearly impossible when you have to be completely responsible. No parents there to make you do your homework or study for that test. You’ve got to just sit down, handcuff yourself to the chair, super glue your feet to the floor, and freaking study.
From Freshman to Senior
The excitement and novelty of going to college look very different from when you first start to the home stretch. As a freshman, you’ll have to have your books, notebooks, pens and pencils, and separate folders for each course. By the time you’re a senior, you’ll be happy if you just remembered to eat lunch that day.
The Same Boat
For some reason, professors think that this is a comfort to struggling college students. But actually, it makes it almost worse that even the super-smart whiz kids in your class who you’ve never seen eat or sleep are also going to sink into the ocean forever. It’s like you never even had a chance.
Maybe Mr. Jefferson Will Persuade You
Unfortunately, college professors are some of the most well-paid employees around (they’d better be, with how much money you’ve put towards tuition). So that $20 bill you staple desperately to your not-so-well-done homework assignment is probably not going to sway them to up your grade. Sorry.
How did they even get this job if they are going to be completely useless? Some professors are really just there for the paycheck, and couldn’t care less if you pass their class or not. The student must become the teacher…but not in a Kung Fu kind of way. Just because the teacher doesn’t want to teach anymore.
Last Minute Homework
Ideally, you’d be able to split up your work and do it in easy-to-handle pieces, every day. But come on, nobody is doing it like that. You don’t have to feel bad. You will procrastinate to the fullest and cram it all in the night before, just like everybody else.
If you say you’re going to start at 7:00pm, you’d better start at 7:00pm. If it’s already 7:01pm, you’ve missed the boat, and will have to wait for the next one. It’s probably very bad luck to start in the middle. Probably.
>> People won’t recover from these cringy fails anytime soon:
Dear clueless writer: In the USA nobody says “went to university”